to my beloved(s)

my intention was to write each of you a make you cry on an airplane letter that you could read while i was crying on the airplane. but i ran out of time. i still cried on that airplane, though. believe me when i tell you.
leaving was so hard, it was almost impossible. never before have i wanted to duck into a corner and hide quite like i did as i walked through the airport. it's weird with 3way gone, but montreal is my home. that city (and you guys being in it) has done more for me than i ever would have thought possible.
a couple of weeks ago i realized that on the best day of his life, h. could never be my family the way that you are. even if there were three of him. and now i don't even know what to think. i would be lying if i said that i don't care what happens, but i would never doubt my ability to get through it.
anyways, here i am. i am already smitten with this town which is a huge relief. i even think the air smells fresh! it's madness. last night there were fireworks that i could see from the balcony and i am pretty sure they were lit for me.
i think about you all, all of the time. you are in my hearts and on my mind and except for a few (very few) select others, you are all that matters.
love,
ham pancake, esq.