how funny

Up for auction is this broken framed print of St Paul’s Cathedral from the Thames River.

Included in this auction is 1 cranky American Boss with an MBA.

He owns his own business and flat in a prominent part of London.

Don’t miss out on this SPECIAL eBay bargain.

A quick sale would be appreciated.

is it me?

My colleage just came into my office to show me what some "asshole had stuffed down her mail hole." As soon as she said this I burst out laughing because it's hilarious, right? Right?

They all think I'm crazy.

Hamcake on Home

Almost one year on...isn't it time for new nicknames? I KNOW 3-way will be back me up on this one.

It's strange to have a new apartment. I was in Tom Williams House for 8 months. That's longer than I lived in St. Henri for. Like it or not (and I did not) it was home.

The room is tiny, but I will survive. Sometimes it annoys me that I cannot move on either side of the bed, but this is London. One must accept what one can get. I am afraid my flatmates find me antisocial, but it is hard to break into a group of 7 people who have been living together for a year!

I cannot play my music. I need to buy a lamp (or 2). I cannot figure out how to flush the goddam toilet. I have taken to locking myself in the bathroom to practice, but I cannot do it.

It is nice to have my own space and it is amazing to live so close to work. My mornings are so relaxed that I have time to be bored before work.

My Dad did not seem impressed with the new flat. I thought he would like it, but he spent the next day after moving me trying to convince H that if we could just live together we could afford something so much better.

I just moved. I am not going anywhere.

Hamcake on Holiday

We have driven around three different small towns this morning en route to Dublin looking for an internet cafe. When my Dad suggested we get out and walk, I almost lost it! All this so he can keep up on his internet dating.

Obviously we found a place. The keyboard sucks and the going rate is 1 Euro for 15 minutes, but I am happy to check my emails.

My vacation is great. Ireland is so beautiful. I have not yet seen a woman as lovely as Crosswalk, but I have seen plenty of men who resemble her father. And Matt Law. Loads of men who look like that guy.

It is so green and it rains all the time. All the time! I think the weather is actually better in London! Yesterday we went to Blarney Castle and I allowed a strange man to dangle me off the side so that I could kiss the Blarney Stone. It was quite terrifying for such a popular tourist attraction.

Wales was incredible. All mountains and small towns. Every hill was covered in baby lambs sleeping and eating. Lambs all the way up to the mountain peaks! From now on I will only eat lamb from Wales knowing that they enjoy such beautiful (albeit short) lives.

I am drinking way too much. The combination of Ireland and my Dad has a bad influence. Last night in a teensy town I won a U2 trivia contest and got a free round of Guiness. How did I win the U2 trivia contest against a group of Irishmen? I may never know. Magic.

Dublin today, ferry back to England tomorrow morning and then up tp Scotland. We are meeting up with Sarah and Stuart in Glasgow on Thursday and then they will show us the sights of the smaller towns on Friday. Saturday - train back to London for me. End of the vacation, but only one more week until I move.

I miss you guys. I really, really miss you. Crosswalk, I do hope you make it next month. We are going to a Nuclear bunker. And 3way, you will be seeing me in September. Mark my words. I am coming and I am bringing H. We are going to rent a car and do BC up proper.

Love and kisses.

I must be getting older

H says he thinks my Dad is kind of a perv. I take this as a bad sign.

Remember when a bag of groceries and a free dinner was enough to make me find my father personable? It doesn't work like that anymore. Maybe some new clothes would help...

He's an ideas man

My Dad wants to be a grandfather. We are having a nice dinner last night, I am swigging wine like it's going out of style and he reveals this gem of wisdom. It seems that his new lady friend has a four year old grandson and he is just so neat that Dad wants to have grandkids of his own.

My Dad. Wants to be a grandfather. He is teasing me in front of H about this.

My Dad. I had always intend to shield my future offspring from him as much as possible. I figured he would get bored of the child once it entered its teens and he would disappear. This is his track record afterall.

The more I think about this conversation, the angrier I get. He wants me to have a child? He just met H, he has no idea about our relationship.

A grandchild? Maybe I am just in shock. What is up with the half-baked opinions of bunk dads? He failed miserably as a parent, is he hoping for a second chance?

Other People's Problems

So F and M have hit another rough patch. Rough as in, M's confirmed lover moved to another city, and F was willing to forgive her and it was all behind them, but then lover boy came back for a visit and F discovered incriminating texts on M's mobile and F was so confused and conflicted and he really didn't know what to do. So he did nothing.

The lover came and went. F monitored M as much as he could and he tried to forget about it. But then M left an email open on her computer for F to find. This email went something like, I have always loved you, you are the one. I will leave London and come live with you. Sex with you is so good, you are the best, I love you, I love you. And F is devastated and he confronted M, but she says the email did not mean anything (WHAT?) and that it was her attempt at closure with the lover (again: WHAT?). And again, poor little F is so confused and he doesn't know what to do.

This is a true story, and the main characters are not 12 years old. I need to buy him a copy of She's Just Not That In To You. Immediately.

Somone changed my desktop

To this.
This is my boss and I think he wants to kill you. Maybe this is a warning for leaving my computer out over night?